The search for love in the modern world is no easy task.
Between ghosting, breadcrumbing, and zombieing, the dating scene has become a complex and daunting minefield to navigate.
However, there is a new trend on the block that may be the worst of them all, especially since it can occur without your knowledge.
This trend is known as “stashing,” which happens when someone you’re seeing chooses to keep you hidden from the rest of their life.
They may neglect to introduce you to close friends and family members or not include you on social media.
This type of behaviour can leave you feeling like you’re in a relationship, yet the other person refuses to acknowledge it publicly or to people in their life.
According to Metro journalist Ellen Scott, stashing means “you’re in a relationship or dating in all other senses, but by refusing to acknowledge your existence publicly, or to other people in their life, the stasher is able to tell themselves that you’re not actually together, so they’re perfectly entitled to treat you poorly.”
They may pretend they are not dating you to justify their inconsiderate behaviour and infidelity.
While stashing is a relatively new term, it is not a new concept.
People have been hiding relationships from friends and family for years, and the rise of social media has made it easier to do so.
The lack of acknowledgment from the other person can lead to feelings of confusion, frustration, and rejection.
Marriage and couple therapist Irina Firstein explained that there are several reasons why someone may stash you, including embarrassment or issues with their family, not wanting a serious relationship, or maintaining another relationship simultaneously.
Regardless of the reason, making someone feel undervalued and disregarded is never justified.
If you suspect you are being stashed, you may feel hesitant to bring it up with your partner, as you may be afraid of the answer or uncomfortable with confrontation.
However, it is essential to have open and honest communication.
Firstein suggests that you ask why you haven’t met anyone important in their life and follow up with questions if they give you vague answers.
It’s crucial to establish your boundaries and to determine whether your relationship aligns with your goals and expectations.
Be careful out there, folks.
